Insomnia

Frustration is the worst
It gnaws at you
Worries you away
You fidget
You scratch
Itch, itch, scratch
Is that blood under my fingernails?
Am I normally this tired?
Am I being compulsive?
Obsessive?
I can’t stress it enough
But nobody really hears
Anything but empty words
Eccentric am I?
Extreme, radical
Crazy I always was
That doesn’t change the truth told
Reality can be hard to handle
Nightmares are worse
The truth is terrifying
I understand why so many want
To sew their eyes shut
I try to sleep on my right side
But it feels too pretentious
The left
Too rebellious
Face down
My pillow tries to drown me
Face up
I feel like I am falling backwards
I have become well versed
In the insomniac dance
Of tossing and turning
Eyes shut
And I see
Their smiling faces
As they bite into those horror stories
I wonder if I will ever
Be able to sleep again
Knowing what I know
That I live in a world
That is a horror story
And near everyone is both
Victim and villain
And how can I
Sleep when I know
That for so many
There will never be
A happily ever after.